Being Thankful . . .

Being both gracious and thankful are difficult in a time such as this when many are out of work, wars rage the planet, the safety of the environment is threatened, natural catastrophes sweep across the land and cause death and devastation on nearly a weekly basis. Still, there are many things in life, at this very moment, for which we are all thankful, if we try hard and think about it.

Personally, I have quite a bit in my life for which I am thankful . . .

Last September, I went to visit my sister and her husband in California where I developed serious health problems, namely a virus, which cleared up quickly, a rather enigmatic sense of disorientation and a bleeding ulcer in my upper-stomach.

When I got back home, everything went downhill . . .

My doctor ordered me out of work for approximately four months, during which time my supervisor had to find someone else to fill the spot due to the fact that I had been out of work too long. To make matters worse, the doctor instructed me to see a gastroenterologist immediately regarding my ulcer because it wasn’t healing as it was supposed to do and therefore might have been related to something more serious—even cancer!

That scared the hell out of me!

I didn’t have the money, but I qualified for financial assistance that could do nothing but offer a discount (it was an 80% discount), which helped. However, because I was out of work and was in no shape to write for clients (I am a professional freelance writer, among other things), I had no money coming in and could not even afford to pay that remaining 20% minimum.

Luckily, with what I had left over from my trip to California (which wasn’t very much), I was able to pay for the medical assessment, but not the tests the specialist had urged for me to have done. (I needed to live, after all). I was faced with, on the one hand, the leering medical bills that would eventually come as the result of the hospital exams and, on the other, the persistently burning pain in my chest. After much pondering and deliberation and enduring the growing apprehension over the former, I called and canceled both exams.

I was left with a hole in my chest and an ongoing sense of disorientation, and no way to take care of either one (my doctor had been prescribing medicine, but the ulcer was taking forever to heal and the disorientation persisted). I felt helpless.

About two months ago, I received notice that my beloved Sister–the one whom I had visited in California–actually did contract cancer, but it was breast cancer. I cried at the thought of her pain and losing her. She has been a major influence to me, and I could not bear to live without her in my life.

I was crushed!

So why do I have to be thankful?

Here are a few great reasons: (1) I didn’t have cancer and the disorientation in my head cleared up on its own; (2) I have no medical bills looming over me (and we all know how expensive they can be, right?); (3) I accomplished a substantial amount of writing—a draft for a novel and several short stories—and am focusing on my freelancing again (the lack of a job there for a while provided me time and reinforced my determination on that); (4) I have become closer to my family through all of this, which has reminded me how important I am to a lot of people (for a while, I was sure I wasn’t); (5) my sister has had her double mastectomy and is now gleefully on top of the world, and so am I; (6) I have grown stronger and more insightful through the entire process, which I realize was somehow intended; and (7) I have a deeper appreciation for life. This last one supersedes everything else. Maintaining a positive attitude has kept me going through all of it, and will drive me onward.

So what does each of us have to appreciate in life? Share your stories. They are certainly apropos this time of year, as well as all year ’round.

Start here: I am thankful for . . . .

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